Does being womanly require milk and sugar?

30 Dec

“Coffee isn’t coffee unless it puts hair on your chest. Real men drink black coffee!”

When a Facebook friend of mine posted this status, my first instinct was to “like” it. I do enjoy black coffee, after all. But I’m not a man, and I don’t want hair on my chest!

In an effort to womanize black coffee, I perused for words similar to “feminine.” It was pretty sad, though. So I looked up “masculine.” Boy, do we have a problem! (no pun intended)

First of all, “masculine” has several synonyms, and many of them refer to character qualities rather than body-type.


Whereas “feminine” brings up a paltry eight words, all of which could apply to a Barbie doll. Oh, and the main definition is “girlish.” Why do men get to be manlike (see above), but women are reduced to being girlish?


I took a break from feminism and synonyms to ponder black coffee from my point of view. I find it delicious. Strong. Pure. Multi-dimensional. Robust. Smooth. Nuanced. Daring. Mellow. Balanced.

How many of those adjectives would you attribute to women? How many to men? More importantly, why does it matter? I believe men and women were created differently, but I’m not sure how gender roles apply to food intake.  The internet says a lot of men want pink slushy drinks, but apparently that’s embarrassing. Girls get frappucinos but boys would rather be caught dead than order a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Y’all, how crazy is that? Everyone has different tongues. Taste buds are weird and contrary and unpredictable. I’m pretty sure communism is out of style, so how about we agree to stop judging people by what they eat and drink?

I am a straight woman, and I would like my coffee black.


2 Responses to “Does being womanly require milk and sugar?”

  1. Cara December 30, 2013 at 5:25 pm #

    I agree with you while sipping my caramel spiced apple cider… 🙂

  2. conejord February 24, 2014 at 12:47 pm #

    Carly, oh my. I’ve read a few of your posts. I am dying laughing. Wish we lived together…there would be endless fits of laughter.

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